I am that bitch. Larry David ain't got nothing on me. I totally get “get off my lawn” when people ruin my peace and quiet. I pay for one of the highest prices per square meter in this city, I expect calm, and that includes not having annoying ass kids acting a fool under my window.
Unfortunately I am (un)lucky enough to live near the only kebab shop in Gros Caillou. How they were allowed to put a kebab shop in this neighborhood is a question. We only have expensive cheese shops, expensive restaurants, expensive wine shops, expensive boulangeries, you get the idea. The kebab place really brings the exclusivity of the neighborhood down, but alas it exists.
And because it exists, teenagers love to frequent it. For some reason the city gave them the late license so they are allowed to stay open later than restaurants (I'm telling you something in the milk ain't clean). This means that teenagers love to scarf down drunk food long after they've gotten drunk. It also means because it is open so late, they have nowhere else to drink at, so they park themselves there.
For those who do not know, Paris has a law. The law states that you cannot be noisy after 11pm. I knew this lady once who was on a DIY kick. She was hammering something and as soon as 10:55pm rolled around, despite not being done with her project, she put the hammer down. I was like why, you're almost done? And she told me about the law. It perplexed me, but now I invoke it with regularity.
Back to present day, these kids were downstairs one night, it was late, the kebab shop had closed, and for some reason they decided to stand in front of my building's door. They were dancing, and yelling, and jumping in front of the few cars driving on the street. Rarely do you see a French that drunk, and these guys were white girl wasted (plus the smell of weed kept wafting up from their perch). Because my street isn't wide, it was impossible for the other neighbors, who all had their lights off, to not hear them, so I was a bit shocked that no one had complained. I was tempted to, but then I realized I didn't know who to.
I wasn't going to call the police. I'm American and we don't call the police for anything. Who else could I turn to?
That's when I found out about Bruit.fr. Sometimes the French really are my twin flame. It's a website that is all about noise, and all of the laws that revolve around it. They provide resources and steps. It's so *chef's kiss*.
Next time you're dealing with some mishegas and you're unsure of what you can do, give the website a little review. French law is vast and full of strange rules. Chances are whatever concern you have, there is already a procedure in place. You just have to find it.